Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Places Where I Assume People Are Watching Me And Probably Also Judging Me:

1. The bank drive-through. I get sweaty thinking about the car beside me. They are almost definitely thinking, "Why doesn't she have everything ready before she pulls up? She had to reach into her purse!" and "Look at how short her arms are- she has to roll down the window and open the door! Haha, she looks dumb!" and "Her hair is sticking up funny. How could she leave the house like that? I hope she doesn't have any other errands to run!"

2. The toilet paper aisle. "Why is it taking her so long? Why is she buying so much at once? Ew, why is she buying that brand?" I haven't even had a chance to pick out a brand I like, what with all the people standing around staring at me. It's too uncomfortable.

3. The entire toiletries/pharmaceutical section of any store. No matter what I am there to buy - ibuprofen, tums, razors, toothpaste - I am always standing next to something embarrassing: laxatives, condoms, adult diapers. When I was sitting around waiting for my medication the other day, I realized I was pointed directly at the enemas, with nowhere else to stare. "What kind of person sits around staring at enemas?"

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